Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships

You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:

• Is jealous or possessive toward you.
  (Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Sexual Addictions and Love Addiction.)

• Tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.

• Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.

• Is violent and / or loses his or her temper quickly.

• Pressures you sexually, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.

• Abuses drugs or alcohol.

• Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state. (This is a core diagnostic criteria for Codependency.)

• Blames you when he or she mistreats you.

• Has a history of bad relationships.

• Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.

• You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.

• Makes “jokes” that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, weather privately or around family and friends.

• Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.

• Your partner “rages” when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.

• Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.
• You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.  
• You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it’s the right thing to do.  

Does the person you love…

• constantly keep track of your time?
• act jealous and possessive?
• accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?
• discourage your relationships with friends and family?
• prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?
• constantly criticize or belittle you?
• control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? (Reasonable cooperative budgeting excepted.)
• humiliate you in front of others? (Including “jokes” at your expense.)
• destroy or take your personal property or sentimental items?
• have affairs?
• threaten to hurt you, your children or pets? Threaten to use a weapon?
• push, hit, slap, punch, kick, or bite you or your children?
• force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?